Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Ughs? Nope. Uggs.

So I finally bought myself a pair of Ugg boots.

Listen to me. I'm no dummy. Uggs are hideous. If aliens saw them they'd be totally fucking confused because Ugg boots don't feature anything that corresponds to generally accepted human ideas of beauty, or even okay-looking things. They're bad.

Oddly, only the hottest people in the world wear Uggs. And they wear them all the time. I used to think (and still kind of do) that Uggs look like weird hooves and shortify people and make the thinnest girls look hobbit-y. But then they started appearing on everyone on my show. The girls would ooh and ahh about how toasty their feet were.

"But they make your feet totally sweaty, right?" I said.

"Not all all." they responded. "Mindy, you really should get a pair."

But they cost $160! And Uggs, like designer bags, never ever go on sale. And I HATE paying retail for anything. So I still didn't buy any. Then winter came around. My call times were 6AM, in the freezing dark cold. My Ed Hardy sneakers kept my heels warm but my toes were still freezing. Socks did nothing, only kept the coldness in.

Finally I tried on a pair at Nordstrom and my whole life was changed, you guys. Uggs brag they "they feature lavish twin-faced sheepskin for the utmost comfort" and it's all true. They are the most comfortable, awesome, snuggliest shoes ever. My toes are never cold, my arches are supported, and somehow my feet are never sweaty. Uggs are a fucking miracle.

I got the "tall" ones because I wanted to tuck my new skinny jeans into them. On the recommendation of the lovely Rashida Jones, I also got my Uggs in black, not the typical tan or sand colors, which are super hoove-y.

Buy some for your mothers, grandmothers, sisters and girlfriends. Or buy me another pair - I like the pink ones a lot too, cuz I'm gay.

Price: $120 (for the short), $160 (for the tall ones)


Thursday, October 19, 2006

Girly Word t-shirts vs. Cute t-shirts For Girls

I hate girly word t-shirts. We all do, right? You know, those little cap-sleeve tshirts girls in the United States wear that have provocative words stretched over their breasts. Take this, for example:

I mean, that is really bad. If I saw a pre-teen girl wearing one of these I would want to slap her. It's not as bad as "Princess" or "Daddy's Little Girl" or anything alluding to "Your Boyfriend..." (ie. "Sorry I Stole Your Boyfriend" or "He wasn't your Boyfriend when I was Doing Him", etc..). I just hate them. Why do you even want a boyfriend? You're only 14 for Gods sake! It's so sexual or something. I think the prevalence of these shirts shows a lack of good parental monitoring. It makes me think there are larger issues wrong with this country and that Pakistan has something right. But I basically think girls should be wearing turtlenecks and reading in the library until they are 15 anyway, so maybe I'm a poor judge.

But there are exceptions. The "Little Miss" shirts are an example. They are back in circulation. "Little Miss" and "Mr." book series by Roger Hargreaves had exceptionally cute illustrations, and the tshirts are fantastic.

Little Miss Bossy is kind of amazing. Just look at her! She's rudely and totally adorably yelling something bossy but has the classiness to wear her best Sunday hat that has a flower in it. These make great presents for moms, sisters, girlfriends, pre-teen girls, and Mindys. Now if only they'd come out with this guy:

Price: $24 at Urbn.com

Other acceptable prints are: Lucy from the Peanuts (a variation of Little Miss Bossy), Snagglepuss, and Velma from "Scooby Doo". And yes, these are three cartoon characters who bearing more than striking resemblances (in temperment and looks) to yours truly.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Music for company when you are cooking Italian food

This soundtrack is incredible. It's from one of my favorite movies, "The Talented Mr. Ripley", which I believe was under-appreciated when it came out. Cate Blanchett and Phillip Seymour Hoffman give these scene-stealing performances that are worth watching again.

A subplot in the movie is that Dickie Greenleaf, played in an excruciatingly great way by the statue-like Jude Law, is basically a cad who loves ex-pat jazz in Italy. The soundtrack is kind of music Dickie would like.

If you are ever cooking up spaghetti and meatballs and red wine for a group of friends, you must buy this cd and play it. It also is great for long drives when it is rainy or fall-y out (I used to listen to it on the drive from Manhattan to Hanover, NH in college.) It has a cool, 1940's feel and is just wonderful.

It also includes Matt Damon cutely singing a slow, eerie "My Funny Valentine". And Tu Vuo' Fa L'Americano, which Matt Damon and Jude Law sang together in a memorable scene.

Price: 13.00 Amazon.com

Sweets that are healthy?

The cupcake craze is too crazy. I can't even deal, you guys. Deluscious? Chocodiles? Sweet Elegance? Crumbs? Ugh! Bleah!

Look, cupcakes are fine. I've even endorsed them, not two months ago. But that's trends people. Brownies are in now. If you want consistent endorsements go talk to Michael Jordan and Nike or whatever, that's not what I'm about. Okay???

I decided I have to satisfy my sweet tooth without having it shut down my whole day. Like, if I have a dense brownie at lunch time, I'm pretty much only good for sleeping and stuff. Oh! And for talking about how bad it was that I ate that brownie.

So I'm trying to expand my sweets to things that are delicious but not super bad for me. I have this new snack that is so creamy and crunchy and sweet and filling, I wanted to share it with you.

First I toast a piece of Food-4-Life Ezekiel bread.
For those of you who don't know what that is, it's this trendy oaty flourless bread that weirdos like Gwyneth Paltrow and Taryn Manning eat. The bread is supposedly living, which is totally strange. The plus side of there being no flour though is that it is very heavy and satisfying to eat. It's dark brown and kind of fierce by itself, with a little bit of butter on it or whatever.

On my show, our craft services guy is an extremely passionate Greek man named Peter. Peter is always telling me how sexy I am, how I'm skinny and shouldn't watch what I eat, and how my hips are just right. He also screams and shouts all the time too. He's great. I'd put a pic of him but I don't have one. Anyway, Peter gets this low-fat Greek style yogurt.

It's so rich and tart and creamy. Kind of if cream cheese was totally awesome.

I spread about 2 tablespoons of this cold Greek yogurt on my toasty 'zekiel bread, and finally, smear a dollop of Smuckers red raspberry jam on top.
Not too much, but just enough so you get some sugary goodness on top of that yogurt.

The bread has 90 calories, the yogurt has about 60, and a tablespoon of jam is 50. So, 200 calories for a delicious, filling, meal! I swear it will fill you up like a meal, not a fleeting sexy little dessert.

If I eat 1 hundred of these every day I should be able to fit into those new skinny jeans!

Friday, October 06, 2006

Things I Will Buy that I Will Love: New York Edition

I am going to be in New York for about 36 hours and I hope to spend a lot of money while there. New York is terrible on the wallet for this blogger. Actually, all cities are bad for me. Except Prague. There is nothing to buy in Prague, I swear to God.

First off, a facial with Eva Scrivo of the Eva Scrivo Salon!

Eva is a tiny little brunette pixie (with the coolest name ever) who has the unromantic job of prodding blackheads from my nose. This is one of those fancy facial places, so I had to make my reservation from Los Angeles, so I'm really, really excited to go. If I skip it, I'm out:
Price :$170 (around. I also add on things like brow waxes and whatever trendy peels or scrub they offer. Something with pumpkin in it this season, I bet.)
632 Hudson St (Cross Street: Between Jane Street and Horatio Street)

Now my face is clean, sensitive and probably a little tingly. I'm gorgeous. However, my blood sugar is most likely low from lying down for 90 minutes. Time for something sweet.

Brownies you guys!

Fat Witch Bakery. Chelsea Market, 75 9th Avenue, New York 10011

Their brownies are good. Sadly, the ambience is lame, unless you like kitsch or stressed-out rude Barnard girls who bake brownies and are also working on childrens books in their spare time.

But the Blonde brownies here are fucking delicious. Buy some skim milk too. Take the brownie on the road and look at tomatoes or tulips or something in the vast, cheerful Chelsea Market.

Price: $2.50 per brownie. (Great as gifts during Christmas time. They have a huge mail-order business).

Now I'm full and I'm cold because I packed poorly for the fall. Oh, shit. What am I gonna do? Oh, I know. Take a cab to the luscious Bergdorf Goodman.

What a dream this store is. I like hoity toity department stores. What I hate is places like EMS or whatever where people talk about kayaks and rope and boring shit like that. I like people inquiring how my shopping experience is going. They're like short-lived friends.

My new friends show me to the accessories wing and without thinking about it too much, I buy this buttery, adorable, snuggly and perfect over-sized winter-creame colored shawl:

I won't even mention the price, you'll all die of sadness.
Bergdorf Goodman, 75 5th Avenue, New York
Later tonight, I think, I'll be snuggling in this with someone in the back of a taxi. It was good I bought this shawl. This is how I spend some of that money I got back from my taxes. Remember that, Mindy? I repeat this a few more times.

Now I feel incredibly guilty for having spent so much money. I better go work on my spec screenplay, the third installment of the "Ghostbusters" movies - with a girl-power update, starring Amy Poehler, Zooey Deschanel, Amber Tamblyn and myself - called "I Ain't Afraid A'No Ghost". I need to sit in a diner and write all afternoon. So I go to Veselka.

I don't write at all. I munch on spinach and cheese pierogies and icy cold diet coke, and watch hot-looking East Village hipsters eat borsht. I hardly remember my movie, I'm too in love with the Justin Theroux lookalike reading those weird political cartoons in the Village Voice, and seeming, sadly, to totally understand them.

2ND Ave (Cross Street: 9th Street)
New York, NY 10003-8305
Price: $15 (will get you a nice hearty Ukrainian soul food meal).

Then I spend nearly $40 over the course of the weekend on surcharges using my ATM card at bodega ATMS that are not Bank of America. I love New York!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Full English Breakfast from Pastis

Breakfast is the best meal. Brunch is a close second, but only because it's breakfast and you can drink alcohol. In Los Angeles, I try to get friends to go to Manis or Canters for dinners because they serve breakfast all day.

I love breakfast so much, that when I run my own household someday, I plan on having omelette or pancake dinners a couple times a week. (Growing up, my mom would do a similar thing with scrambled eggs, her favorite food. Nights during high school, we would eat scrambled eggs with sardines and toast, because she craved it. She didn't want us to tell our friends we ate such simple food, I think she thought it was lazy bad mothering or something. But it was pretty delicious, especially with tabasco sauce.)

In New York, a no-fail breakfast is black coffee at Le Pain Quotidien, a soft-boiled egg, and hard french bread with butter and jam.

In Los Angeles, my eyes were opened to the whole world of Mexican-style breakfast: huevos rancheros, breakfast burritos, etc... in a way that was difficult to find in New York.

But the best breakfast I've ever had - the breakfast I plan on eating this Sunday, when I am in New York - is the Full English Breakfast at Pastis.

Pastis, you say? Come on, Mindy. Did you just get off the "Sex and the City" bus tour? Get a life!

But I'm right! Dinner and drinks at Pastis is just okay. It's mostly fun because the people are dressed cool and the bathroom at Pastis is very sexy. If I had the choice though, I'd rather spend 1/3 as much and walk around the corner to Florent, the tranny French diner.

But the Full English Breakfast at Pastis is fucking amazing. It's 2 Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Fried Bread, Mushrooms, Beans and Fried Tomatoes, all served on a large burning hot plate. The taste of runny egg on fried tomatoes with a little bit of baked beans is worth not eating for the rest of the day for. And the Pastis bacon...man oh man. It's the thick-but-not-quite-Canadian kind, meaty but crunchy and very salty.

I have even had the opportunity to eat this breakfast with a very judgemental, snobby Englishman, and he too agreed it was the best breakfast he'd ever eaten.

Full English Breakfast
Price: $14

9 9th Ave- At Little W 12th St
New York, NY 10014