Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Snookies


I recently heard Beyonce being interviewed on NPR with Terry Gross. I don't remember all that much about it but I do remember Beyonce talking fondly about how she had a lot of fun putting back on the weight she lost for her role in "Dreamgirls".

Since then I have been fantasizing about doing that like crazy. I can't wait to have some role where I play a refugee or a drug addict or something and get super gaunt and sad-looking, and then how fucking awesome it will be to put back on twenty pounds. And Snookies Cookies is how I'll do it, for sure.

Snookies are the best cookies I have ever eaten. If you try them, you will not argue with me. If you give them to someone as a present, they will love you forever. They are buttery and soft, and are just the right amount of crumbly, chewy and firm. We received a big basket of them when we won an Emmy last year, and I swear I was more excited about them than the bottles of Dom Perignon and Cristal we got (I drank enough Dom and Crist when Jay-Z and I had that thing summer of 2005).

Good for: New moms, dinner party gifts, celebrations, bake sales.
Price: $30-$60 (the best package, the one I got for my friend Lester and his wife when they had their first baby, is the milk & cookies combo, where they send you ice cold milk on ice and a big box of cookies)
www.snookies.com

Mike & Chris



Man, I love Mike & Chris. They're this totally cute pair of screenwriters who wrote the last three Owen Wilson-Vince Vaughn movies I hooked up with at Sundance.

Just kidding!!

Hilarious jokes aside, Mike & Chris is a line of sweatshirts and hoodies designed by husband-wife team Mike Gonzalez and Christine Park-Gonzalez.

When I buy clothing, I - like most girls - will usually splurge on fancy, trendy clothes, ie. dresses for special occasions, blouses with sparkles, just really formal things. This is a big mistake. These clothes sit in my closet forever, and then when I finally have an opportunity to wear them, I'm bored with them. (except you should always, always, always buy flats that are gold, silver or sparkly, like these Miu Miu glitter-rhine stone flats from last season. Fancy flats go with everything and you will wear them constantly)



I fixed this flawed way of thinking. Now I only splurge on items of clothing I will wear constantly. Which is why I splurge primarily on Mike & Chris hoodies.



The fit and attention to detail on Mike & Chris hoodies are insane. They are the most flattering, comfortable clothes, but they make you look like this insanely cool badass girl who lives on Rivington Street or in Echo Park or something with her gorgeous, aloof boyfriend (but you secretly live in Midtown or by the Grove or something, like me).

As a comedy writer, you can pretty much wear anything shitty you want to work. You can wear like, jam shorts and a torn t-shirt and no one will say boo about it. It might even become something people find charming about you. For instance, my boss primarily wears things that he received as free promotional items or clothes from high school (the exceptions at my work are writers Caroline Williams and Gene Stupnitsky, who dress like Pat Benatar and Julian Casablancas at their heights, respectively). But basically, I can't wear some fabulous Anna Sui dress to work or people would think I was weird, or trying too hard. But I still want to look cute. That's why Mike & Chris is so awesome. Also, if you've had a rough night or are hung-over and don't feel like putting in any effort in looking nice, a Mike & Chris pullover over jeans and flats is pretty much the coolest, simplest outfit out there.

Price: pricey. anywhere from $120 - $350, and we're talking about sweatshirts and stuff. But it is totally, utterly worth it, because you will live in these guys.

www.girlshop.com or check www.mikeandchris.com for stores.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Things I borrowed that I Love


I wore a Stephen Burrows dress to the SAG awards last night, and it's my favorite dress I've worn to any awards show.

I was trolling on style.com looking for inspiration for what to wear to the awards and found his line. I then googled the designer, found his website and literally cold-called. I don't have a publicist or stylist or anything, so I was completely psyched when they graciously said okay. I read up more about him, and the more I read the more I love. He's basically this awesome designer who uses bright, vibrant colors, and his clothes have a sexy booty-hugging fit. His main offices are in Harlem, and he outfits a really diverse group of celebrities, including Iman and The Supremes(!). So, yeah, I kind of feel like a totally big deal. Also, not a single other lady was wearing my color.



They also sent me these ridiculously sick cherry red satin Christian Louboutin shoes (you can't see them on me, but you can see them on the much-less pretty model modelling my dress above).

Also, does my head look huge in this picture? I feel a little self-conscious.

Price: Priceless.

www.stephenburrows.com

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Funniest Book Ever


I can't believe I never posted about this. John Swartzwelder, the writer of 59 Simpsons episodes, self-publishes books that are available on Amazon.com. They are all hilarious but this is the best one. This book will make you laugh out loud many many times, and then get horribly depressed because you realize you will never be as funny as John Swartzwelder.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Betsey Johnson rhinestone clutch


Listen, I know when you think of Betsey Johnson you think of 15 year old girls party dresses. Actually, since this is mostly dudes who read this, you probably don't think of anything in particular. You're probably not even reading this. At any rate.

Betsey Johnson is ultra, awesomely feminine and playful. But sometimes her style teeters right on the edge of, like, being overly girly (and this is me writing this).

In comedy, there's this term 'gilding the lily' or 'hat on a hat' which explains how you can sometimes ruin a joke by adding some extra little bit of comedy when the joke is simple and clear*. It's basically a lack of restraint. That's kind of the comedy equivalent of what Betsey Johnson can do with clothes. She takes a pretty pink dress with a bow, and then, like, adds piping to it or a lace overlay or a sequins hem that can sometimes take away some of the overall awesomeness of it.

However, Betsey Johnson's love of details has yielded a truly phenomenal accessories line. This clutch, dark velvet with rhinestone details, has gotten me more compliments than any other accessory I've ever owned. I wear it with jeans and a fitted black sweater, or something simple, so it pops. I would be devastated if I ever lost it.

Good for: any girl.

Price: $138.00 (I got it at full price at the Betsey Johnson store on Melrose, but it's on about 50% off sale at overstock.com for $64.95)

*I realize how totally condescending and weird that I started a sentence "In comedy...". What am I, George Meyer teaching freshmen satire at Swarthmore? But that's the only analogy I could think up!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

U.R.A.Q.T.



Just found a likely candidate for Song of My Life. An actual lyric is: "It's all about the low-brow brown girl".

M.I.A. is ridiculously cool. So cool that actually, I'm not always into her music. It's too edgy and awesome for my taste. But M.I.A. and I are both creative Tamil girls who date pale artsy guys and stuff and I'm crazily into her.

U.R.A.Q.T. is the most fun, infectious song about loving your fun boyfriend so fucking bad you want to wreck the awful girls who think they can get on him. Ugh, I hate that!

Dt-Dt-Dt On your mobile phone
Dt-Dt-Dt On your mobile phone
You Fuck my Man and Wreck my home,
I'll get my bro to rob your phone

Now Could it be that me and He
Are tighter than J-lo in her jeans
And Could it be that me and He
Are tighter than R.Kelly in his teens
You fucking With My man
And you text him all the time
You might've had him once
But I got him all the time

Dt-Dt-Dt On your mobile phone
Dt-Dt-Dt On your mobile phone
You Fuck my Man and Wreck my home,
I'll get my bro to rob your phone

U R A Q T
Is your Dad a dealer Cause you're dope to me
You Throw them Balls across the country
You win gold medals for when you're with me
You Big Dummy

Right then, It's On

He ain't no Word for scrabble
You don't get points for doubles
Menage Trois Lalalalala
I'll bill you for your droudles
You done lost your marble
Like a ball I'll make you dribble
Your the shrapnels in the rubble
I'm a raging bull, a rebel
It's all about the low-blow brown Girl
The No blood, no Love hot girl
The jnkn jnkn jumping off the decks girl
The jnkn jnkn jumping off the rocks girl
You big Dummy

U R A Q T
Is your Dad a dealer Cause you're dope to me
You Throw them Balls across the country
You win gold medals for when you're with me
You Big Dummy

Price: $1.99 on iTunes. (Can you believe that! $1.99 to make you smile the whole day?!)

Thrifty




I like to buy used stuff. There is nothing better than a thrift store in a non-urban area populated by the elderly. While in L.A., here are my suggestions.

-Wasteland on Melrose / Wasteland on Fourth in Santa Monica.
-Resale: CrossRoads on Santa Monica Blvd. / CrossRoads on Melrose / Buffalo Exchange on La Brea.
-The only Goodwill where I’ve had any luck is in West L.A. on Santa Monica Blvd.
-The Japanese know good thrift: go to Shabon on Beverly or Popkiller on Sunset. Small and pricey but good.
-American Rag is definitely overpriced but I’m always buying stuff there.
-Jet Rag is too junky and everything on the east side of town has been picked over by the hipsters except sometimes Squaresville on Vermont.
-The Rose Bowl Swap Meet on the second Sunday of every month in Pasadena. Get there early (like 7am). The selection is great but don’t expect to find furniture. Everyone wants Mid-Century tables and chairs but you will not get them cheap so just save your pennies and go to Palm Springs to buy the good stuff.
-For less selection and less hassle go to the Fairfax swap meet on Sundays at Fairfax High School. Anything further than that is too far.
-For paintings and assorted crap (not clothes), there are two thrift stores on Fairfax between Olympic and Pico. The ones on the west side of the street. There you will find gems like a large, amateur (prison?) portrait of Bo Derek, nude in cornrows with giant, asymmetrical breasts.
*If you have more suggestions, please let me know

Here are my rules of thrifting:
Holes are okay. Underpaid tailors in drycleaners can sew/hem/adjust anything for ten bucks. It’s worth it. However, if something has a wee moth bite and you think you can sew it up and have yourself some nice cashmere on the cheap, you are wrong. Dead wrong. Microscopic beasties are living in that hole and they will have babies on all of your other clothes which will soon have holes as well. Also, steer clear of stains in the crotch area. Other stains are on a case-by-case basis (i.e. can you use bleach? Does it look like somebody died? What kind of death?). A musty odor is not necessarily a bad thing. It just needs a little hot wash and Febreeze. BO on the other hand, may never go away completely. But if the item is awesome, buy it anyway. We’re all human. Smells keep us real.

Monday, January 22, 2007

I'm a PC.


I'm so a PC.

I might be the only comedy writer on the planet who is not crazy about Macs. And I tried! I know how sexy Macs are! Who wouldn't want that dope Williamsburgy-Peet's Coffee-DJ Samantha Ronson-y cachet of being utterly Mac?

But I'm not. We use Macs at work, and the really hi-tech ones with cameras and stuff. I love being able to check my makeup on the video thingy, and I like how white and clean and shiny mine is... but I cannot find my shit on my Mac. I save something and it ends up in some file and I can never find it again. And I can't search for it because I don't know how. And if I download something, I have no clue how to open it and then it poof disappears. And I don't understand all the millions of icons on my desktop. There is literally an icon of two faces smiling at me and I have no fucking idea what it does. I clicked on something last week and all of a sudden i was like creating and making a home movie or some shit like that. I know this makes me sound elderly and complainy but at least with my unsexy clunky old regular PC I can click on "search" and find the things I need.

But I do love Justin Long. Man, he is so cute. He has that lanky goony Krasinski look that is so totally adorable. Most of the guys I know completely hate him, which I believe is a testament to what a biscuit he is. I think PC should hire Jay Baruchel or Casey Affleck or some equally off-beat cutie to do their ads.



(Or I guess they could continue their current ad campaign, which seems roughly to be: "Let's not advertise at all. Let the hipsters, gays, Jews and elite writers of Los Angeles and New York City use Macs, we'll take everyone else.")


This meanwhile, is my little PC laptop, which is tiny and reliable, even if it isn't endorsed by Bono or whomever.

It's a Sony Vaio and it weighs 2 lbs and I adore it. I feel about it the way I imagine Paris Hilton feels about her disgusting little chihuahua. I brought it with me to Paris and to New York and have dropped it a million times and thrown it in anger at boys and it still works. I got it at CompUSA, the least sexy place on the planet. But I still go to the Apple Store to check email and ogle boys and stuff. So I guess I'm a PC in Mac's clothing.

Price: $2,100 at Comp USA.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Chocolate Covered Altoids


Altoids are gross, man. I don't get why people like them so much. It's like, "Hey. do you like that painfully strong and uncomfortable sensation of Listerine? You do? Well we converted that feeling into a weird little chalky mint we think you'll really enjoy."

But, per usual, chocolate saves the day.

New chocolate covered Altoids, my friends. Something that Mindy Ephron has that she fucking LOVES. But, I didn't buy them. During the Golden Globes, they had complimentary boxes of them at some gift lounge I went to, and they are honestly better than the free heels and bras and jeans I got, which is saying a lot, seeing how unbearably materialistic I am. I took 8 tins of them.

Oddly, they are not available on altoids.com, though you can get all other kinds of Altoids there. This makes me feel like they haven't "dropped" yet, and you should get some now so before every cool kat in your hood is touting choco-Alts.

Order them at www.candywarehouse.com
Price: $18 for 6 boxes (you can only order in bulk, but don't worry. You will finish these bad boys. You can get peppermint or cinnamon. I like cinnamon but both are great.)

Contributors: you don't believe me? Post here for a free tin and be converted.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Little Black Dresses Part 1



Never stop yourself from buying a little black dress, especially if they are knee length or tea-length (easy to dress up or dress down) and are on sale. I would have a hundred little black dresses. They're flirty, flattering, and guys totally like them because they're little dresses and they can look at your calves and knees and stuff.

Shoshanna is the party dress line to beat. Her stuff is young and fun and not as pricey, as say, a Lewis Cho or Geren Ford dress (also stunning, but yikes! $500 for a little black dress??).

And Cynthia Rowley, well, I'm just smitten. I stop by her store on Melrose every week to see what's new on the sale rack. It's more pricey than Shoshanna, but her colors and detailing make her dresses the most sophisticated/girly creations around. I dare you to not make out with a guy in a Cynthia Rowley dress. And her website has sick sales. This might be the first time I'm actually hesitant to share things that I've love that I've bought!


And if you're not wearing these to dates or parties, pair them with a fitted, bright red cardigan or a little black blazer, you can also pass as a coquettish receptionist from the 50's ala Elizabeth Banks in the Spiderman movies.

Get these, but only if you want to look incredibly fucking cute.

These two dresses happened to go on sale and I own them both.

Strapless Cynthia Rowley: $209 (on sale) cynthiarowley.com
Sparkly Shoshanna: $175 (on sale) bluefly.com

Traveling Salesmen & The Return





I don't usually plug episodes of "The Office" but I recently bought and downloaded "Traveling Salesmen" and "The Return", written by Michael Schur, Lee Eisenberg & Gene Stupnitsky.

It's a two-parter that just aired and it's so fucking good. I had seen cuts of it, obviously, before it aired, and read the scripts a million times, but they were still a total delight to watch.

The three guys, Gene, Lee and Mike - who have never written together - had barely a week to come up with two episodes, and these might very well be my two of my series favorites. Almost every character in our enormous cast has a moment of total in-character hilariousness. It's also pretty amazing because Lee, Gene and Mike are a bunch of fucking idiots so whenever they do something good I'm like "Wow. Didn't expect that."


Price: $3.98 (for both) on iTunes. While you're at it, download "Tracy does Conan" from 30 Rock, which has one of the funniest lines of any show this season, when Liz Lemon asks Jack why he's wearing a tuxedo and he responds: "It's after six. What am I, a farmer?"

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Nail Polish!








Getting your nails done is one of the really cool things girls and gay guys get to do that guys can't, and it's sad. It is so much fun to have a nice lady massage your hands with lotion and ask about your day and recommend the best bbq places in KTown (not racist, Danny, because this ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME.)

But I can't even keep up with nail polish trends.

Should they be sheer and pink? Pearly white? Pitch black?

After years of getting manicures I realized two things: 1) you NEVER need to be paying more than 10 bucks for a manicure, no matter what, and 2) you only ever need these five colors.

I keep them all stashed in the bottom of my huge purse and break them out when I get manicures. I've learned it's good to buy your own polishes and bring them with you. You can't always trust the polish at salons. The brands can be cheap and then your nails with chip, or they water them down with alcohol. Everyone looks good in these colors; blondes, Asians, Indians, black girls (I have a super diverse group of girlfriends) and I promise you will have a dope polish NO MATTER WHAT SEASON IT IS FOR THE REST OF TIME.

For dark, plum vamp-y first date nails: Chanel "Madness"
For happy pure red (that isn't too tranny, as bright reds can be): OPI "I'm Not Realy a Waitress"
For rich, brown "I'm a sexy professional lady thank you very much" nails: Essie "Chocolate Brown Truffle"
For whimsical, flirty, summertime light blue toes: Hard Candy "Sky"
For "I will never get a regular manicure, I need something that won't show when it chips, I don't want to be adventurous, but I want to look presentable": OPI "Mademoiselle"

For a line of nail polish that is pretty much unbeatable, try Lippman. Their pallette is fantastic, and includes the amazing "Nefertiti", a sparkly gold lacquer tha makes anyone look like Cleopatra (but not the goddess Nefertiti. Weird, huh?).

For: Girls, girls, girls!!

Price: $7-$15 (Chanel, Hard Candy and Nars will run you up higher, but the colors are completely worth it, and you will not find them in most nail salons. OPI and Essie you will find in most places!)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Oh my god you guys




My love is like whoa.

Beyonce is just like a super-gorgeous regular human.

J.Lo on the other hand, is an ethereal bronze goddess. She was in front of me on the red carpet and it was so weird. People yell "Big smile Jennifer!" and it's like they're shouting nonsense words at this stony-faced Aztec princess. Her husband/handler Marc Anthony just looked so Rats of Nimh compared to her.

Both have amazing asses, and believe me, I checked.

And that is my Beyonce/J.Lo Golden Globes 2007 update.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Cufflinks



Cufflinks take a lot of extra time in the morning, so I never wear them. But I got these for Christmas and I really like them. I usually wear them with jeans and a dress shirt, but I also wore them with a suit and I liked how it looked. Girls seem to like them.

The brand is Fornasetti, which I've never heard of. But I like having two pairs of gals lips on my wrists.

Good for fucking awesome dudes who know how to dress, I suppose.

Price: $485 (ouch) but sterling silver (still painful) at barneys.com

No Hateration, no Holleration.



I like only one singer better than Beyonce.

Mary J. Blige is so fucking badass. She was a junkie and an alcoholic and a busted-up looking, tantrum-throwing diva and has a scar on her cheek she won't talk about. Now she's polished, has a smoking body, and expensive-looking hair, but still wails like the gospel mama she totally is.



This album is kind of a greatest hits. It came out the middle of December but I finally got a chance to listen to it this week. I can't stop!! It's top to bottom awesome.

I saw her sing live on SNL and nearly passed out. She commits so hard. It was like that one Grammy's when she sang "No More Drama" and the camera panned over the audience and by Celine Dion, who was, like, crying cuz she was so sad she couldn't be as awesome as Mary J. Blige.

Other cool things about Mary J. Blige: I saw her sing crazy gospel trills in 5 inch stilleto Timberland boots, and superhot painted-on skinny jeans. Also, her face in repose looks exactly like a pretty doe. God, she's the best.

Tracks I love are: No One Will Do, Be Without You, and of course, Family Affair.

If you buy this and don't like it, I will give you $9.99.

Price: $9.99 on iTunes

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Calling the Kettle DELICIOUS

Much like the product I will write about, this post shall be SHORT and SWEET.

I'm no Lorne Michaels, but I do love me some popcorn. Especially kettle corn.

Introducing the 100 calorie snack-size pack of kettle corn popcorn. Perfect for a midday snack around the office. $23.70 for 60 pouches.

"Le French Sex Shoppe"



On occasion, my job takes me to exciting locales. This morning we had the opportunity to visit Le Sex Shoppe, a sex shop in Sherman Oaks, which we renamed "Le French Sex Shoppe" for the purposes of my script.

My friend and co-worker who is the most puritanical is Michael Schur.

He hates when people make off-color jokes and is a real priss. I am almost always in a constant state of his disapproval. Except once a week or so he'll hit us with the filthiest fucking joke we have ever heard in our lives and everyone is scandalized. Then he quickly divorces himself from the comment. It goes something like this.

Mindy: Something cute, clever and charming.
(people laugh)
Writer B: Something funny, relevant.
Writer C: Something building on that, making it even funnier.
Michael: Something mind-blowingly, off-the-charts filthy.
(stunned silence)
Michael: What? Who said that? (looks around the room)
Writer B: You did.
Michael: Nope. Let's get back to work, you lazy fuckers.


And it works! Michael still gets to keep a pristine rep and purport to be a classy William Shawn type.

That's why I got him this "Hottie Way" street sign from Le Sex Shoppe. It's exactly the kind of lame, not-really-that-funny, tawdry thing Michael hates the most. But, as is the writers code, you must put up on your wall anything any other writer gives you. (edited to add: the best example of this being that I gave Michael a poster of Bridget Jones Diary 2 and he had it up in his office for an entire year. Especially awesome since this was the only decoration in his office. Later, this movie was referenced as the worst movie ever made in "A Benihana Christmas". Fun Fact!)

Price: $6.99

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Things That, If You Bought Them, I Would Love You

From the great gaming minds at LucasArts and the comedy B-game of Danny Chun comes Thrillville, a video game for Xbox, PS2, and PSP in which you run around an amusement park doing things. I wrote the cutscenes and punched up the in-game dialogue, which one review site called "laugh-out-loud funny" and some others called "repetitive" and "weird."

Anyway, the point is that this game would be a good gift for kids whose parents don't love them enough to buy them next-gen consoles yet.

The Molly Forrester Mystery Series



What if Carrie Bradshaw solved murder mysteries?

Molly Forrester is an advice columnist for Zeitgeist magazine but wants to be taken seriously as a journalist.

Then she witnesses a murder!

How the rest unfolds I will keep secret, so you may enjoy it as much as I did.

As a connoisseur of chick lit, I would say this is near the top of the pile. The author, Sheryl J. Anderson is one of my new favorites. The Forrester series is not quite as good as masterpieces like Helen Fielding's "Bridget Jones's Diary" or Jennifer Weiner's "Good in Bed", but still super great, especially because it's a SERIES so you don't fall in love with the characters and then poof! they're gone (still waiting for the next Bridget Jones book). You can always count on more Molly.

The joys of this book are the great, specific references about fashion and New York City that many girls will appreciate - which aren't thrown about in a clinky way as Plum Sykes did in the disappointing "Bergdorf Blondes". Molly steps in pools of blood with her Jimmy Choos, you guys. Oh! And there's also a totally adorable homocide detective.

There are four in this series so far.

Good for: girls who don't take themselves too seriously, girlfriends going on long cross-continental flights, some moms, many teenage girls.

Price: $6.99 (paperback) to $24.99 (hardcover) on amazon.com

Monday, January 08, 2007

I'm Indian, by the way.


I don't get to eat enough Indian food.

My inclination would be to eat it 2-3 times a week, but I can't because Indian food at restaurants eaten in that quantity would make me thick as hell (see previous post). The problem is that restaurants make curries cream based, not tomato or low-fat yogurt based, like in home-cooked food (ever wonder why you can't stop mopping up that tikka sauce? it's half and half you guys!). Also, Indian food is impractical at work. You can't write jokes or anything when you're asleep under the table of the conference room at your job. Which is what I do. Professional.

There are two obstacles with me cooking Indian food for myself: 1) The Bombay Cafe on Pico.

The Bombay Cafe is the sleekest, most fun, tastiest Indian food in town, which is ten minutes away from me. And 2) whenever I actually want to cook, Indian recipes call for teaspoons and sprinkles of about 11 different hard-to-find spices.

That's why Dean and DeLuca's Indian spice kit is so awesome. No more wandering around Pakistani grocery-cum-video stores asking if they have tamarind powder! Spices include: Ground Allspice, Cayenne Pepper, Curry Powder Blend, Fenugreek Seed, Nigella and Tandoori Blend. All in adorable little Dean & Deluca steel containers. It's great as a present for a worldly fun newlyweds who want to make Indian food and invite you over. Or your favorite college professor.

price: $55 at deananddeluca.com or in stores (the one on Broadway in Soho, anyway)

Thursday, January 04, 2007

100 Calorie Snacks



Oh my god, you guys! I totally put on seven pounds over the holidays.

Seven pounds is the difference between looking cute running around in tight jeans and a tank top, or wearing a sweatshirt over corduroys every day of the week and looking super dykey. I feel so thick, and not Beyonce thick. Like Loretta Devine thick. Yikes.

Let's discuss for a bit exactly how this happened. I got a lot of food gifts from employers and things. My boss sent me a Mrs. Beasley lemon pound cake. I got cookies and cheese straws and bars of every variety. The problem is that I don't have, like, three kids and a husband to eat all of it, so it gets put in the pile of food items to nibble on while I watch Law & Order.

Also contributing: I went to New York, took cabs everywhere instead of walking, and visited A Salt & Battery, Mas, The Fatty Crab, Donut Plant, and Babbo. (To my credit I resisted going to Pies & Thighs (really, that's the name) in Brooklyn - a place that sells pies and fried chicken for $8). I also drank midori sours and daquiris every night, and, while drunk, eat pizza or peanuts with other drunk people. What is the matter with me?

I realized that during the month of December, I ate like every meal was my last one, ever. It hit me New Years eve, when I went to Henrietta's Table in Cambridge for brunch with friends and I ate more than my friend Steven, who is 6'3".

That's why I invested in several boxes of the new 100 Calories Snack Packs that they sell now. Fight fire with fire, right?

They're awesome. They're tasty junk foods like Oreos and Wheat Thins and Doritos, except you have a limit: one little bag of deliciousness!

But wait, Mindy. How do you not eat like 8 bags at once?

That my friends, is the big question. Will this be something I've bought that I loathe?

Only time will tell.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Princess Tam-Tam and SpoyLt




New contributor carolinehope and I recently came to the conclusion that women should wear matching underwear. And not just so if you get into a car accident and some cute ER doctor has to cut your clothes from your body you are looking smokin hot on a gurney. Because knowing you have adorable matching underwear on is like having a secret private joke with yourself, and gives you the leeway that any day - even a work day - could end up kind of unexpectedly sexy and cool. You feel like Jamie Lee Curtis in "True Lies", I guess.

So with some sadness, I tossed all my mismatched underwear and started investing in some dope new unmentionables. Great lingerie is outrageously expensive and there are million considerations given what works for you body. Shops like Agent Provocateur are fun but those bras are of the ooh-la-la variety and not appropriate for going to work in your sunless bunker in Van Nuys.

So that leaves Victoria's Secret and boutique brands.

There is a bit of a divided stance among the women I know if Victoria's Secret bras are actually any good. I tend to think they're fine, but I'm never too jazzed on their designs. However, Victoria's Secret does carry designer lines of gorgeously designed and well-made brands like Chantal Thomass, Princesse Tam-Tam and SpoyLt (also, coincidentally, the names of the other girls in my phone sex operation). And during the semi-annual sale, you can get them at a huge discount. Bras for $128 are for $79, bras for $79 are for $49 (still pricey, I know, but they are so, so, so great.)

I'd advise shopping online for this. The stock flies at the stores and the lines are insane.
www.victoriassecret.com (then click on "Designer Lines")

p.s. In New York, there was a great lingerie shop called BodyHints. They are the self-proclaimed Sephora of lingerie shops. Go there if you're lucky enough to live in New York.
462 West Broadway between Prince and Houston Sts., 212-777-8677