Heelys!

I recently got Heelys.

Heelys are shoes with wheels in the bottom. I've seen kids skating around airports in them for a while and thought to myself "I wonder if those come in adult sizes."

Well, the answer is that they do.

They take a day or two to get used to and your inner thighs really ache at first, but after that, they're awesome.

It's a fun trick to wear them out, walk around normally, and then all of the sudden skate off as people think to themselves "Who is that badass gaywad?!?"

Spinach & Feta Purse

When I was a kid, like 11 or 12, I used to keep a list of my favorite SNL sketches on an index card in my wallet. It was really important for some reason, like if the topic of favorite SNL sketches came up in conversation, I could refer to this master list. Weird.

Later it became important that I know at any moment my ten favorite foods. To this day, if I eat something incredibly good, I immediately think "put this in your list of favorite foods in case someone asks you". Usually I forget. The only foods that I really remember are dried cranberries, rotisserie chicken, Banh mi,



(Vietnamese sandwich. According to Wikipedia: It is made up of thinly sliced, pickled carrots, daikon, onions, cilantro, choice of barbecued pork, paté, chicken and other meats, amazingly awesome and difficult to find)...and spinach and cheese croissants.
,
When I was growing up, my dad would bring them home from Quebrada bakery in Wellesley Massachusetts. Delicious. They were flat and oily, and unlike Au Bon Pain who keeps their savory croissants in a incubator, the cheese was congealed and salty. So delicious, and terribly bad for you. But then we moved away and I became more conscious of losing baby fat and didn't eat them for about fifteen years.

I had one for lunch today. It was the best one I've ever eaten. Technically it's called the Spinach and Feta Purse and I got it at the Little Next Door Market. It's feta cheese, and not some cheap cheddar or American cheese that many of these bakeries will try to pass off in their savory pastries, and it's smaller than you'd hope. It basically fits in the palm of your hand. Which is good because it's crazy dense and the olive oil will seep through any number of napkins. I washed mine down with an icy diet Coke.

Little Next Door is a great find too. My companion and I had meant to go to Doughboys, but the wait was forty-five minutes and there was no wait at Little Next Door (but it was thankfully still full and busy-looking, with happy, hip looking patrons). It has a huge array of French prepared foods and pastries, but also an impressive breakfast and sandwich menu (black truffle and brie omelette, anyone?)It's Craftbar to Little Door's Craft. I've never been to Little Door, though Michael from work says it's terribly romantic, though the food is hit or miss.

Good for: People who like rich little salty things that melt in your mouth and have negligible nutritional content.

Price: $3.50

at:
8142 West 3rd Street, CA 90048
(next door to The Little Door, closest cross street is Crescent Heights)
open 10-6

Melissa Odabash one piece

One pieces are great.

Look, I am all for bikinis. I own about 15 pairs. My favorite is this fucking dope little Burberry one. You remember, of course, Jay-Z telling us of Beyonce's Burberry-bikini predilection in "Bonnie & Clyde '03". So it kind of behooved me to see what the deal is with their swimwear. And, as I predicted, their swimwear line is totally fucking awesome. Thanks Jay-Z!!(For the record, one of my biggest goals in life is to be name-checked in a Jay-Z song. Not a big surprise there, I know. But still, I am telling you about my HOPES and DREAMS.)

So, this is mine. It's the famous Burberry Novacheck pattern but not the beige plaid (in my mind making it slightly less label-whorey), Check it out:



In Hawaii, you're considered kind of weird if you wear a one piece. I think that is kind of cool. I noticed that when went there. It doesn't matter how in shape you are, women rock bikinis no matter what. The other nice thing about bikinis is that after you go swimming, your stomach and torso don't stay all wet when you dry off.
So yeah, bikinis trump one pieces.

Except this season there are some incredibly fucking cute ones.

I love the one-pieces out now because they are sexy in a chaste, retro way. Look how freaking adorable Kirsten Dunst looks in this little number:



Doesn't she look like your sexiest babysitter ever? I recently was told by a guy I know that Kirsten Dunst is an incredibly hot woman. I was never so struck by her looks until I saw this photo. Cutelicious.

Here is my favorite. It's a Melissa Odabash. Her swimwear is amazing, and unfortunately totally expensive. It's completely flamboyant and totally Miami and tiny and hot as hell.



It's so Lily Pulitzer but not matronly. And there's tiny little bling detailing on it. Also, it's strapless, so you can totally show off your decolletage.

For someething awesome but a little more affordable, I found this adorable halter suit from J.Crew, of all places.



You'll look like a sexy little Dalmation. Ruf!

Melissa Odabash
www.netaporter.com
Price: $101.50 (on sale! From more than $200!)

JCrew
www.jcrew.com
Price: $74.00

Gingerbread Waffles

Making waffles is like baking for really impatient people. So, totally perfect for me.

In the future imaginary household I run, I'd like to serve these amazing waffles for dinner once a week.

Usually I don't fuck with things that are perfect - like waffles - but these gingerbread waffles are so unusual and great you might like them even better than plain buttermilk waffles.

These are fantastic for brunch with some sausage links, or for dinner, with breaded chicken (or KFC, seriously!) accompanied by a big spinach salad.

Note: These are denser than regular waffles because of the pumpkin puree. This recipe is from the delightful Rachael Ray, controversial breakout star of the Food Network.

I happen to like Rachael Ray. She's kind of chirpy and chubby and I identify with her.



Almost everyone I know loathes her at first, but is eventually charmed by her down-to-earth personality, and the easy-to-makeness of her recipes. Plus I find her genuinely cute. With some "upbeat" television personalities, you can see the thinly disguised weariness in their eyes and it's scary, like say, Megan Mullaly on her short-lived show. But Ms. Ray seems to suppress this exhaustion and sadness better than others, so I can at least pretend she is indeed overjoyed to be teaching me how to make risotto or whatever.

Gingerbread Waffles
Recipe courtesy Rachael Ray

3 cups all-purpose flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons ground ginger (I was a little bit generous with the ginger since I love the sharp taste of gingersnaps)
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg, eyeball it
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 large eggs
2/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
1 1/4 cups milk
1/2 cup molasses
1/2 cup (1 stick) melted butter, plus some to butter the iron
Syrup, whipped cream or fresh fruits for topping, to pass at table


Preheat waffles iron.

In a large bowl combine flour, baking powder, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and salt. In a medium bowl, beat eggs and brown sugar until fluffy, then beat in pumpkin, milk, molasses and melted butter. Stir the wet into dry until just moist. Do not overstir the waffle batter. Brush the iron with a little melted butter and cook 4 waffles, 4 sections each. Serve with toppings of choice.

Price: free. I didn't buy this!! (but I did buy ingredients. I know that is lame technicality, and it chips away at the integrity of this blog, but really, these waffles are amazingly, amazingly delicious).

Short Hair!

I recently chopped off my hair.

I liked having long hair but it was always getting caught in things and I often times didn't comb it because it was very time-consuming. Then it would get knotted and dredlocky and a big pain. Also, when it was hot out, my neck would get kind of sweaty. And sometimes when I'd go to bed I'd find strange debris in it, like earrings I wore the week before or dried up jam.

Look, I know guys dig long hair. My dad and brother have always vehemently shared that opinion. Even if it's kind of ratty and trailer-y looking, for whatever reasons guys just kind of like long strands of material surrounding a girls face. Weird.

And I *did* like it sometimes. I liked how it felt draping on my back when I wore a halter dress, and I liked how it felt when boys would tug on it (I really liked that). But my new short hair is universally loved more, especially by lazy old me.

Because it was drastic, and i wanted a bob, I went to the masters of the bob, the folks at John Freida on Melrose. I went to John Frieda because Sally Hershberger is based there, the fancy stylist who invented Meg Ryan's piecy kick-ass bob from the terrible movie "Addicted To Love". Check it:



Leland cut my hair, he's awesome and a total babe in a Michael Stipe kind of way. He has since left but Amber still works there and touches it up. They are both incredibly cool. Amber has a sleeve of tattoos and lives in Echo Park, so...yeah, I'm kind of totally set for life.

Anyway, here are the before and afters:

BEFORE:




AFTER:



I like the short hair. It's flirtier and has more volume than it ever did. Good for spring and summer. Boys will have to just like me for my personality for once.

Price: around $150 (but worth it if you are going to get something major done, like I did, and cheaper for upkeep snips later on).

8440 Melrose Place
West Hollywood, CA 90069-5308
(323) 653-4040

Spring Shimmer Skin.

I blogged in the winter about how important it is to have moisturized skin. But now spring is upon us, and my concerns are different. I don't just want to have super smooth and soft skin for my Johnson shorts; I want to shimmer like a demi-goddess.




My controversial theory is that glitter makeup is meant to be worn exclusively by girls up to age 25, people attending Halloween parties, and transvestites. People have argued with me about this forever and think I'm terribly old-fashioned. And believe me, it was damn hard to say goodbye to my Urban Decay Heavy Metal glitter eye gel (in Roadie) on my 26th birthday.



It kind of sucks but I think it shows propriety. Anyway, there IS a silver lining (no pun intended, but appreciated) and that is that glitter has a cooler much more sophisticated older sister: Shimmer!

Subtle shimmer is great for anyone, no matter how old.

For a bronzey shimmer:



Nars Body Glow will give you the sexiest most subtle shimmer all over your body so people will think you're just a tanned, golden person of the J.Lo variety. Pour a liberal amount in your lotion, shake, and then use whenever you wear shorts or a low-cut white or black dress. Do this and you'll be all set to audition for that Tennessee Williams play.

For pinker, more special-occasion shimmer:


Benefit's hollywood glo body lustre is for when you want your decolletage and arms to look all twinkly. I wouldn't waste this on your legs. Whereas Nars Body Glow will make you look heat-of-the-summer hot, this is more for evening time, and conspicuously "shimmery". Wear this when you have that fancy dinner where you think you're boyfriend might propose to you.

Good for: Awesome gals 25+ (if you're younger, do glitter, man. Don't bother yourself trying to be subtle.)

Price: Nars $59 at Sephora.com, Benefit $26 at benefitcosmetics.com

Steve Has a High Tolerance.

In the Saturday, February 17, 2007, regarding "St. Patrick's Day Potatoes", we mistakenly asserted that friend Steve "gets drunk easily". In addition, we had no idea it was "Stephen" and not "Steven". All in all, a dark time for Things I've Bought that I Love.

Our apologies. For the record, I still think I'm right. Like, I really think I'm right. Whatever, Steve. We'll find out this weekend, won't we, Mr. Irish?

(ETA: I find it incredibly cute that Steve's email starts off with "I really resent..." but ends with "cordially". Steve, for all his misguided notions of his own sobriety, has good manners.)

Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2007 18:24:50 -0800 (PST)
From: "Steve"
Subject: blog
To: "Mindy"
I really resent the recent claim on your blog that I get drunk easily. In fact, it takes quite a bit to get me as drunk as I like to be. That's why I need to drink so much.

Cordially,
Stephen

Snyders Honey Mustard and Onion Pretzel gift tin

Nobody doesn't like Justin Timberlake.


And nobody doesn't like Snyders Honey Mustard and Onion Pretzel bites. These are all major truths, y'all. It's important. Listen up.



You've all had these right? Oh, please readers, say you have.

You know how Pringles says "You can't eat just one!"? Well, that's true for Pringles; they are damn good. But usually you won't eat an entire box of Pringles, then like, run out to buy another box. Here's the thing: the Snyder's slogan should be "Cut it out, you fucking pig. You're a disgrace.", they are so fucking delicious. They are my absolute favorite savory junk food.

They're little pretzel nuggets covered in sweet bright yellow powder. That sounds revolting, I know. But the powder is like crazy magic God powder which is both sweet and salty and oniony and each nugget is like a little explosion in your mouth of yummy crunchy deliciousness.

What's extra awesome about these is that they don't sell them, like everywhere, like Pringles or Doritos. They appear in strange convenience marts or gas stations unexpectedly, so it's fun and exciting when you find them.

My dad is a ridiculous salty-snacker. It's the worst ever, because he's kind of skinny too, and no one else in my family can copy his snacky patterns because it'd wreck us. He loves these too, so I recently bought him a gift tin(!) of them from snydersofhanover.com.



Yep! You can order a gift tin basket thingy full of these fuckers. It's a great, great gift.

Good for: congratulations gifts for friends, dads, bros, uncles, writing staffs of comedy shows. I bet girlfriends would be annoyed with a gift like this though.

Price: $24.99(!!!) at snydersofhanover.com

Nanette Lepore perfume

You can't always wear "fuck me" perfume.

People would think you're weird. Also, it's just too much. I can't be sitting in the writers room at 11PM, in a sweatshirt, eating Subway or whatever, trying to pull off Agent Provocateur. I recently wore a slightly patterned-y long sleeved Charlotte Ronson dress - totally cute by the way - and my co-worker Michael asked me if I was going to the Renaissance Fair. I can hardly ever do anything I want to do without some little observation from the horrible writers on staff, carolinehope can attest to this.

It's like if you always wore bright red lips, like Christina Aguilera. Honestly, I saw a picture of her in sweats, like headed to the gym and she was wearing bright red lipstick. Come on, X'tina. What are you supposed to wear when you're trying to seduce someone? You have to like, rip yours lips off at that point.

So when you don't want to ooze Sexuality, and you want to ooze Normal Awesome Girl, or you just don't want to ooze at all, you should wear Nanette Lepore Shanghai Butterfly.

It's described as: "This exciting fragrance fuses East and West; opening with crisp, exhilarating accords of lush lemon slice, mandarin, snow apple, and spicy carnation." I don't know about all that, but I do know it makes you smell fresh and pretty like a successful, trustworthy person. Great to throw in your gym bag as an everyday fragrance.

Good for: platonic girls in your life, Moms, your little sisters first perfume.

Price: $78.00 for 3.4 oz


at neimanmarcus.com

Forever 21

This past week, the women of the Office were on location at a mall. I know, right? It wasn't even my idea! Between scenes, the lovely Rashida Jones and I escaped to Forever 21. Rashida has the best taste of anyone I've met who doesn't make money off their taste. It's great to have someone like her with you in a knock-offy store or thrift store. So I totally took advantage and had her advise me on some cool threads.



This dope little jacket is almost an identical match to my hideously expensive Geren Ford jacket I bought this fall. I wear it over tight jeans, a tank and long layered chainy necklaces. It's the cutest.

In the centuries old fight of which is better, Forever 21 or H&M, most of my friends fall on the side of H&M. They argue the H&M stuff is hipper, and of all the cheapie knock-off stores, H&M comes the closest to the designers it's ripping. But I think they're just seduced by the Euro allure of H&M. I have had way more luck at Forever 21 than H&M. (I will say that the H&M on 5th Avenue in midtown NYC is pretty fucking fun. I always go there, drop serious cash on a completely awesome and dispensable wardrobe, then go up to 'dorfs and drop serious cash on an awesome perfume or cashmere scarf.)

Forever 21 is a total mess always, with kind of vacant, unhelpful teenage girls working there, but there are gems everywhere. It's also disgustingly cheap. Like cheaper than H&M. Like so cheap you kind of wish they charged more cuz you're like "Ew, why is this so cheap, what's wrong with it?". But then you realize it's probably South East Asian laborers making everything and it costs a tenth of a cent to produce and you see how you're cashing in on the best deal in town! (don't think about this stuff too much though, you'll start feeling guilty for the poor people, in like, Macau or wherever sewing together a knit jumper so you can own it for 17 bucks).


One caveat: often, the details on Forever 21 stuff sucks. What contributor Lola taught me do was to buy sweet new buttons and hooks at JoAnn fabrics, then have a tailor replace them. She recently did this with a gorgeous black jacket from Forever 21 and when I saw it, I thought it was from Marc Jacobs!! Isn't that an amazing story?


Good for: Girls, duh. Not moms though. My mom hates this store. There and Delias. Makes her want to puke. Best for when you don't have an agenda, or a specific item of clothing you need, but rather, a general sense of wanting to revamp your outfit and a lot of time on your hands. Also, bring a girlfriend with you. Unlike shopping at like, Intermix or Scoop, there are crazy hits and misses here, and you might just pick a miss unless your savvy gf tells you to knock it off. Brenda is particularly good at this.

Price: these tops above are $17 and $24 respectively and can be found on forever21.com