Summer 2007 Cute Awards
I'll admit it. If you had asked me a few months ago what I thought the Summer 2007 anthem was going to be, I'd have looked at you like you were an idiot and said: "Umbrella, of course. It's the "Crazy In Love" of Summer 2007."
It has it all. A smokin' hot new look for young Rihanna,
a cameo by paternal mogul megastar Jay-z, and a droning, kick-ass, almost-unpleasantly catchy chorus.
Then I walked by writer Jen Celotta's office and heard a beautiful new song. "Jennifer," I said, "What is this wistful little ditty?"
It was "West Coast" by Coconut Records. By week's end, you couldn't walk by a single writer's office without hearing it playing. A sad, pretty song about bi-coastal relationships with Jason Schwartzman as lead (and I believe playing all back up instruments). As someone who has suffered through the misery of living 3 hours behind or ahead a boyfriend, I especially enjoy this catchy, sad, gorgeous little song.
Best lyric: "You said, we both go together if one falls down. I talk out loud like you're still around." So Jason makes my list, without even taking into consideration that he is also Max Fuckin' Fischer. So, yeah. Good work.
1. Jason Schwartzman.
About a year ago, Carolinehope, Jen and I were drinking coffee and discussing "Sherrybaby" at Buzz Coffee. We were super depressed. That is a depressing-ass movie. (Alas, it had been my choice. I don't know why I didn't make us see "The Holiday" or something...I think I was trying to flex artsy). Anyway, we were really down in the dumps when Jonah Hill ambled over. In a few short minutes he had cheered us up with his winning smile, his A+ personality and his pretty eyes. He's so funny and great. Also, he was kinda the best thing in three of the biggest summer comedies this year (Evan Almighty, Superbad and Knocked Up). What a fucking cute motherfucker. With German-engineering type comic timing.
2. Jonah Hill
I almost want to say mean things about Justin Timberlake, his reign as Prime Minister of Cool has been too unsullied. I get that a guy can sing in perfect falsetto, hip-hop dance and play the piano at the same time. But he does it in a fucking three piece suit. I'm worried a little about Justin though. What if he gets assassinated? He's got to be the plummest target to al-Qaeda type terrorists. Certain people, like Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Simon, Oprah, JT...these are national treasures. Anyway, I hope he lives to be on the Summer Cute Awards 2008.
3. Justin Timberlake
Imagine being a baby water buffalo. Most of your day is your nose pressed against the furry leathery bottom of your mother, or aunt buffalo. Then suddenly one day you are wading around and a pack of lions FUCKING CHOMP ON YOUR HEAD. Not used to pain, you squirm around. Then their fucking friends START CHOMPING ON YOU TOO. When you finally get away, scared out of your mind, a CROCODILE GRABS YOU BY THE ASS and starts GOING TO TOWN on your legs and butt. Then your family pulls it together and is able to save your life.
When Greg made us watch this Youtube video at lunch, I was like, "Wow, there is a God." Or at the very least "God did good when making buffalo's hides so goddamned tough." Way to go God, or Mother Nature, or whatever. Way to go.
4. Baby Water Buffalo, Battle at Kruger National park
These are my Summer 2007 Cute Award winners. Congratulations to all.