Valentines Day Lingerie
Unofficially, there's tons to do. All varieties of body waxing and nail-grooming going on. For me, the most fun thing is picking out a Valentines Day lingerie.
About now, my male readers probably have a gun to their heads. But wait! Don't shoot! This is helpful for you too. I think your ladies will be ultra-delighted if you were to present them with these gifts on Valentines Day. Nothing is a better scenario than this:
INT. OUR HERO'S ONE BEDROOM IN EAST HOLLYWOOD/PARK SLOPE
Hero: Hope you like this.
(Girl opens package)
Girl: Oh my god, adorable lingerie in a size small!
Hero: Well, I just figured you seem so tiny to me, so...
Girl: Oh my god, I do??
Hero: Oh hell yeah. You're like a little dab of butter. Or a beautiful rose.
Hero: Yeah, now stop yappin' and go put that on. (nb. It's okay to order girls around once you've covered them with compliments).
Here are my choices:
1. I'm very literal minded about holidays. I like wearing Christmas tree earrings at Christmas parties. It's the old lady-tchotchke side of me. That's why I love lingerie with hearts on it for Valentines Day. It's super cute, and shows a charming adherence to holiday themes.
I love these Fredericks of Hollywood bra set and garter set. Too cute.
Embroidered heart bra: $32
Embroidered heart thong: $18
Embrodered heart garter $22
2. For a sophisticated look, or if you're worried about color, I love this Panache bra set. Everyone looks good in sheer black, and it's sexy cuz it doesn't look like you dressed up for Valentines Day, you just always wear dope underwear.
Panache Eliza balconet bra: $62
available at www.figleaves.com
3. Dude, it's Valentines Day. When else are you going to wear a freakin corset?
Commitment at this Dita von Teese level is so admirable and hot, your guy is gonna freak. This is the Honeymoon Suite corset at my favorite L.A. lingerie haunt, Trashy Lingerie.
Available at Trashy Lingerie at www.trashy.com, but it's worth it to hit the store on La Cienega. The salespeople are so helpful and cool there.
4. Do you love sparkle and glitz? You will look like Beyonce in this bra and panty set by Kiki Montparnasse, which happens to be the glammiest, funniest girl-sex-shop line ever.
Demi padded bra: $247
Open back bikini: $122
Available at kikidm.com
5. Are you a little shy, but want to be fashion-y? This Simon Perele bustier and boyshort combo should do the trick!
A very cool and unusual mix of lace and houndstooth pattern make this a must-have. Also, bustiers both a)cover your midsection up a bit and b) make you ass look super round and juicy.
available at bluefly.com
6. And last but not least, the naughtiest of my Valentine's faves, some ridiculously slutty and provocative panties and cuffs by Spoylt.
You are just a terrible, poorly-raised girl, aren't you?
Price: from $100 - $150
available at www.spoylt.com