Monday, March 24, 2008

Sour Candies

I wish I had a chocolate addiction. People I know who have strong chocolate addictions have managed to find healthy ways to stifle this craving; "All I need to satisfy me is one small square of dark chocolate in the afternoon and another at night." I hear them say. Low in calories and high in anti-oxidants, the littlest taste of cocoa and butterfat can sustain my friends all day.

This is the "Big Daddy" bar from the amazing Jacques Torres.

Over 2 lbs is $22 and you can break it up into guilt-free little pieces.

Those of us addicted to sour candies are not so lucky. When I finish eating a regular sized bar of chocolate, I'm like: "Oh, that tasted good. That satiated me. I don't need to eat another one for 6-8 months." But when I finish a regular sized bag of Sour Patch Kids, my eyes gleam red and I'm like: "WHY HAS THIS BAG EMPTIED!! SOMEONE GIVE ME FIVE MORE BAGS OR EVERYONE'S DEAD!!!". Even the monster sized bags at the movies seem small. (For this reason it is a joy to go to the movies with Helers - he never finishes anything he eats, strange Ascetic that he is. (He in turn would probably tell me a "lady never completes a bag of sweets" because Steve is from the pre-Great Fire 1900's)).

Get on with the sour candies, you are saying about now, enough with the vaguely interesting anecdotes. Fine, fine.

1. Haribo Gummi Candy, Sour Cherries

When the concept of Sour met Sweet, it was like when Paul McCartney met John Lennon. Then when Sour and Sweet met Chewy, it was like they ran into Mick Jagger at the post office and had one long jam session. When Sour and Sweet and Chewy met Cherry, it was like the cops came to break up the jam session and the sheriff was Michael Jackson in 1981 and he like moonwalked all over the place.

Price: $14.99 for a 5lb bag. At

2. When you're not eating candy and being healthful, you can still have a little sour candy kick, guiltlessly.

Sour Altoids are a great crunchy little mouth explosion. You can pop three at a time and know you're not consuming more than about 15 calories. (And don't you burn that by crunching them anyway?). They come in five flavors but I like tangerine the best.

Price: $19.90 for 8 tins at

3. Sour Bright Crawlers in Dylan's Candy Bar Paint Can

I don't NEED my sour candy to be in the shape of vermin, but boy do I like it.

Oh Dylan Lauren and Jeff Rubin. Thank you for taking your combined clout and good taste (Ralph Lauren's daughter and CEO of FAO Schwartz) and making the amazing Dylan's Candy Bar. Talk about instantly creating a magical New York institution that children hear about from across the country beg their parents to see. As a fat child, I would've been more interested in Dylan's Candy Bar than Disneyland. Actually, as a chubby 20-something when it opened, I was still pretty psyched. DCB deserves more of a shout-out than this mere mention, so I'll curtail further description until a later date.

You can buy these great Sour Bright Crawlers online though for $13 at

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Posso Spat

So much of why dressing up is fun is embellishing boring old basics I own so I'm excited about them again. I believe this is the main psychological thrust behind "The Bedazzler", which transforms anything by covering it in rhinestones (and for the record, I would have KILLED for as a child). It's also why I would turn cashmere socks into arm warmers.

I'm like a lot of girls; I admire craftsy do-it-yourself couture. It's like that girl in the unconventional cool dress at the party and you ask: "Oh my god, I love that dress! Who designed it?" And she - with faint smugness - responds "Oh, I made this, actually." I totally hate and am jealous of that awesome girl!!!

Certain things I blog about will be controversial. I recall a pair of gold polka-dotted panties I raved about that Danny disliked. The Posso Spat is bound to be one of those controversial blog entries. Guys probably will think these are strange, but as I blogged about earlier this week, guys can be too timid about foot fanciness. Screw 'em!

Spats you guys. Check it out:

I love these. At first you think: "What interesting shoes that girl is wearing." And then you realize the tops are detachable fashion pieces and you're like "Whoa, where is this girl from that she can get these fucking strange accesories?!".

I mean, this is a straight up doo-hickey. Isn't it? I love them so much. They can be worn over any type of heel and make it look like a completely different kind of shoe.

And they're on sale now for $61 at, which is quickly becoming my favorite online boutique because of their sick sales and awesome customer feedback section.

For: Awesome girls who like slightly weird fashion-y things.

Price: $61

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Carol's Daughter Candy Paint

I don't care what the magazines say. The #1 way to age yourself is to wear lipstick. Matte, Shiny, it just doesn't matter. Lipstick is the worst. I can rail against lipstick forever. And even though it's supposed to accentuate the your pouty, feminine lips, I actually think lipstick can have a trying-too-hard or tranny-ish effect (ie. Christina Aguilera, Amy Winehouse, both lovely ladies...undone by lipstick!).

Lip gloss on the other hand, merveilleux!! Lip glosses make you look like a dewy princess who needs to be kissed. In this great era of no-fuss makeup, a cheerful blush and lip gloss are really all you need to look great.

I love Carol's Daughter, a line of body care and beauty products started by the very cool Lisa Price. Carol's Daughter is boutique line, but it's a huge celeb favorite, especially celebrities of color. If you go to her site, it's like all Tyra Banks and Mary J. Blige all glistening and naked and raving about their products. Awesome.

The candy paint is the best consistency. It's gel-y but not thick, and doesn't come off immediately if you drink a soda. It will probably need a re-application or two during the day, because lipgloss isn't spackle, you guys. Get a grip. (Honestly, would you really LIKE it if your lip gloss didn't EVER come off during the day? Weird chemical glueyness! Yuck). There's lots of choices for lipglosses out there, but Candy Paint is great because of the colors.

Ever wonder how Beyonce or J.Lo have perfect pink-and-gold sparkle Aztec Goddess lips? I swear it's because of Bossy, the all-over gold gloss that looks great over a pink shade of lipliner or amazing just by itself. And the basic pinks are fantastic too, not that wimpy stuff you get at Sephora which looks all cool in the tube but comes out like clear nothingness. My other favorites are Park Avenue Pink and Purple Reign.

Also: Check out Carol's Daughter's body butters.
They're scented, so for me, I don't use them every day, but on weekends, it's a good ritual to butter up your elbows and knees, and the skin on your knuckles and stuff. It has lasting effects, even if you only do it once a week.

Your boyfriend can do it too! In fact he should. He's the one who gets to handle your soft little joints, he owes it to you to have soft ones too. I like their "Love" Body Butter, which is technically unisex, which is a funny notion to me, because if Ben were to buy "Love Body Butter" of his own volition, I'd assume he was secretly gay or cheating on me with Jada Pinkett Smith.

Candy Paints: $13.50
Body Butters: $18.00

available at

Or go visit her store in Fort Greene, Brooklyn! It's down the street from Spike Lee's Forty Acres and A Mule Production Company front. Cool.